Saturday, January 30, 2010

A Rock For Us


And across the abyss of questions and terrors
I would reach
I would steal you, lover
I would stand with you on rock

Do you recall, my lover, in happier days--
when we stood in the gushing sun
on a mountainous stone?

And watched the birds panic
to escape the waves

Do you remember the way my eyes looked
bathed in the joy of baby love?

I remember yours

And I remember the sense of assurance's hole
left in its absence
So big that it ate up the cotton in the sky
and the life beneath our feet
And everything

We are not on a rock now

I believe I have found one for standing
but you are not here

my arms won't stretch across the great abyss
I only can sing
And hope that you know me by my song


The Great Uncertain Blue

I stood on top of people
and I said that they were You
I clung and pushed and painted
in a spiritual hue

I beat my pillow, wailing
that you'd driven me insane
And closed my eyes to all except
the haunting of my pain

When something gave me joy, my God!
I worshipped it as You
And pelted onward, heedless
of the great uncertain blue

of the fear of sober judgement

of the demons that I grew

of the Great Uncertain Blue

of the Great Uncertain Blue


I Believed


The day I knew that I believed
it was not on the word of a sage or a holy woman
nor was it sermon spoke or verse quoted

it was a tree that stood yelling in my backyard
it was the eye, half closed, of a tiny girl child
it was that when I fell to the floor and wailed a million losses,
my father knelt beside me and held my back.

in the last moment-- it was that I cannot ever see a horizon
without longing seeping out from under my eyelids and leaping towards it

the day I knew that I believed took five years

and was over
in exactly
three seconds.

And now I am His.