as desire changes
The livid unreignable passion of my body's heart, swollen and defiant for these 13-odd years (I am still so young!)--the curse and bane and treasure and power of my baseline-motivation--
it has, miracle of miracles and loss of losses, it has somehow inexplicably come humming to a quivering standstill,
like a car from 1915 who is brought to the bend in a road and left running, shaking on its wheels, only barely wheezingly awake.
A rest unexpected.
All because the other appetites swallowed it up:
one's own history,
grey hair earned,
a pot-pie made,
a love hoped for like a business partnership on the foundation of simple-honest all-right-yes and signature on paper and toothpaste squeezed correctly and he knows how to change a tire and I'll learn to budget;
competence and commitment becoming, eventually,
an awaker of idling engines.